How Many Hats?

Has anyone read the book "Who Are You, Susie Sue" by Tish Rabe? In the story, Susie tries on hats for different roles, such as a chef, a sock maker, and a cake cutter. Ultimately, she ends up wearing too many hats and struggles to determine her identity and what she wants to be. This reflects a reality faced not only by mothers but by women in general.

How many different roles do you assume throughout the day? Personally, I play the roles of mom, daughter, friend, and wife. Some women take on these roles in addition to being an employee, sibling, and sometimes even stepping into the dad role! How do we remove all these roles and just see ourselves?

With all these roles we need to "put on," how do we maintain our "self hat," which is crucial? It's vital to find something that allows you to preserve your identity beyond motherhood. This is easier said than done. We become so occupied with doing everything for everyone else that we neglect to do anything for ourselves. Moreover, the only time we have to ourselves is after everyone else is asleep, typically after 9:00 PM or later!!

When I first had Benjamin, and later when Emmett arrived, I lost touch with myself and neglected the things I love. I had to take a moment to reflect on what defines me and brings me joy, and 1 am while breastfeeding Emmett was the perfect opportunity! I sat down and created a list. I enjoy reading, exercising, coloring, strolling through Target/TJMAXX, organizing, and the list continues. "Listing" is simple, but doing is more challenging, or whatever Washington said in "Hamilton". Just kidding, He said “dying is easy. Living is harder”……. Still true.

The way we engage in activities we love changes significantly as mothers, but it's essential to continue discovering ourselves. For instance, I enjoy reading and organizing. I can't relax with

a book and a glass of wine while the boys are awake and David is at work, nor can I organize under my kitchen sink. However, I can listen to an audiobook after everyone is asleep or during naptime, pull everything out, and organize my cleaning supplies. "Click boom then it happens"—another Hamilton reference—allows me to enjoy two of my favorite activities while waiting to feed Emmett and play with Benjamin again.

There is absolutely nothing wrong with reaching out to your community, family, or friends, or even hiring a babysitter, to give yourself some time. How can you care for your children and teach them to trust their instincts if you don't heed your own mind when it tells you to "take a break"? (Oops, another Hamilton reference!) You can also let your children know, "Hey, mommy needs a moment. Go play in your room or I can turn on the TV," while you take five minutes to read. Initially, this might be challenging for your children, but it will become easier if you remain consistent with your instructions. This approach shows them that you are human and that it's okay to love someone yet still need a break from them. #sociallycompetentadults in the making!

Always remember that you are far more than "just a mom." You are a complex individual with your own emotions and passions! You don't have to set aside your personal identity to be an amazing mother.

PS- pictures included of the baking I have been doing.

Homemade mini sourdough loaf!

Homemade sourdough cinnamon rolls!