Gentle(ish) Parenting

I want so badly to be a gentle parent and be able to nicely and calmly explain to my child what he did that was a poor choice. However, who knows how to push our buttons the best??? Our children!! Benjamin knows how to make one sound that is like nails on a chalk board. He knows exactly the face to make to really drive the sass home!

It’s so difficult because he is three years old and he is learning how to be a decent human, and it is my job to teach him how to do that. It is also my job to teach him how to express  his feelings or voice his opinions.  However,  when we are eating and our interactions go like this:

B- “ I am full”

Me- since I know my child and he has a separate stomach for sweets “ok take one more bite and then be all done”

B- “you really want me to take one more bite?”

Me- “yes. That way your belly is good and full.”

B- with the most frustrating look on his sweet little face “well I’m not going to.”

What do I do??????

I need this child to understand that I am a first generation gentle(ish) parent. If I’d have said that my parents they would have whooped my ass! (Shout out to mom and dad who did a pretty good job. Love you guys <3)

I don’t want to spank my child(ren) all the time, but how do you make the “punishment fit the crime”? I don’t want him to feel like he has to stuff himself or can’t express himself, but he also needs to understand that I’m just asking for one more bite of a meal that he barely even ate.

Do I not allow him to have a snack later, I don’t want him to just be hungry. Do I send him to his room? He will just play, plus I don’t want him to feel alone because I still am caring for E.  Do I put him in time out? He doesn’t really care about going to time out.  I ended up sending him to his room and told him I’d come talk to him in a minute, so what if he was just in there playing.

After taking some time to reign in my own feelings, I finally settled on a few things. 1- I put his lunch in the fridge so if he was really hungry later, then he could have more.  I felt this was a reasonable thing to do where no punishment was given.  2- I took away something he likes to do, kid loves TV.   I mean he could sit all day and watch Zaboomafoo and Pokémon! So he is not allowed to watch tv.  The punishment.

At the end of the day, no matter how many times we have butted heads, my children will know I love the to the moon and back. Just because I didn’t parent perfectly doesn’t mean I(WE) are not doing a fantastic freaking job!!